Meeting Scarlet Rayne
Updated: Jul 12, 2019
Written by Demi Duncan
Before I fell pregnant, I never really gave much thought as to how I was going to give birth. That was until I was told there was really only one option.
Since the early stages of pregnancy, I knew I had a low-lying placenta. My obstetrician had warned me that if it didn’t grow upwards with my belly throughout my pregnancy, that I would have to have a caesarean. My 20- week scan came, and my placenta had only slightly moved up. It still wasn’t in the right position, and my bub was breech. This likened my chance of having a c-section. As time progressed, my placenta began to naturally move upwards (as predicted by the OB) as I grew, but ‘bubs’ never turned back. At this point, we were referring to bub as ‘it’ because we didn’t find out the gender (which seems strange writing like this now) and ‘it’ had moved from one side of my rib to the other side.
I remember googling all the different ways you could try to get her to flip possibly. And I did some WEIRD things to try and get her to turn, but in the end, she was more than comfortable right where she was (with her head stuck under my right rib, thanks Scarlet).
The last few weeks of pregnancy was a weird, overwhelming, exciting feeling knowing that I was going to have c-section (it hadn’t been confirmed at this stage, but deep down, I knew I was going to have one). I had always pictured giving birth vaginally, so a c-section was a bit of the unknown, but I knew that it would be best for me and bubs. It was strange that one of the hardest parts of having a c-section was actually telling people that I was having one. When people would ask “oh, how’s it all going”, “I wonder when you’ll go into labour” - I would tell them that I was most likely having a c-section and the response I got was humiliating and really made me feel like shit. People would say things like “oh, I’m so sorry!”, “and how do you feel about that, are you okay with it?”, “Oh, there’s no way I would want a c-section, I want to go through labour and feel everything,” I remember thinking, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I am having my baby, and it’s the safest way for my baby to be brought into this world…. I don’t have a choice!
Some of the people who made remarks like this were friends, my friend’s Mum’s and friends who didn’t even bloody have kids! The day I booked my c-section, I cried to Mitch (my husband), with so many mixed emotions but after the tears, I felt relieved and thought “cool, let’s do this”. Mitch, on the other hand, was rapt with the result! It meant we were meeting our baby ten days earlier and in his words, he didn’t have to watch me go through any pain (even though I was about to undergo major abdominal surgery lol.)
It was Monday, 24th of July 2017; I’d been fasting since 6 am, and in the morning we popped into our friends' house (Georgia & Andrew Mackie) to say hi before the big arvo. Georgia teared up when we left, and then we headed to the hospital at midday. My Mum, Dad, Sister and Nan met us there, and Mum was in tears saying goodbye to me. My midwife was one of my best friend’s Mum - I honestly couldn’t have gone through it without her. I had never had surgery before, and she was there to hold my hand tell me that everything was going perfectly (she also worked for 15 hours that shift so she could stay with me as long as possible).
The anaesthetist took a while to administer my spinal block. However, I was blissfully unaware that there was a delay; I was busily jolting while trying my hardest to stay so still. I remember the weird sensation of the block kicking in. It felt like I was weeing myself because all I felt was a warm, tingling sensation down my legs. From then, everything happened incredibly quickly. It took my Obstetrician around ten minutes to deliver her. He used forceps at the end as her head was literally stuck underneath my right rib (which makes sense considering I had the sorest ribs for the last two weeks of my pregnancy!).
As soon as I saw her, the waterworks came in hot and heavy. Mitch cut the umbilical cord, balling his eyes out. The moment she was placed on my chest, was the most amazing feeling in the world. The midwives asked us her what her name was and Mitch basically said: “you decide babe, you can name her John and I’d be okay with that”. And with that advice, I replied with, Scarlet Rayne.
During my recovery, I suffered from the shakes, but after they eased off, I was totally fine, my whole recovery was actually so fine. We went back into our room, where my family ran into, and it was just so beautiful. I wish I had filmed it so we could watch it over and over again.
Scarlet was the most chilled newborn. I often wonder if it was because she was born into the world in such a calm environment! She fed every 4 hours and never really made a peep besides when she woke to be fed. In the hospital, I made the most of the midwives help with breastfeeding because, oh my gosh, NO ONE tells you how hard it is. I have a video of my Mum saying to me “it’s okay Demi, you will do this soon without even thinking about it” and I remember thinking “shut up, this will never be easy”. If Mitch or anyone else that wasn’t a midwife tried to give me advice on how to do it, my blood would boil. But Mum was right, it did get easier, and I ended up breastfeeding her until she was one.
Scarlet definitely made it easy to adjust to mum life! We were blessed with a chill bub, and she slept through the night from an early age, often sleeping from 10 pm - 6 am. I remember when she was around ten or eleven weeks old, I looked at my phone and saw that the time said 5:59 am. I jumped up to check on her because she hadn’t woken once during the night, but sure enough, there she was fast asleep.
We first met Demi and Mitch in early 2018 when they came to a Tiny Hearts public course in Melbourne. Scarlet is now 1.5 years old and the family recently celebrated the marriage of Demi and Mitch!
Demi is the co-owner of Missta, which is home to a brand new safe formula feeding product that is launching later this year.