Two lines, I'm sure this has two lines.
"Omg what the f*^* do I do now!"
After two years of trying to conceive two lines finally appeared on the first, second, third and fourth test I took. I knew my journey may not be easy. I have PCOS, my period was irregular, and I wasn't ovulating well. I had decided to travel down the homeopathic path first, which did not work for me. My cousin Naz stepped in and introduced me to her obstetrician Dr Harry Ngo who is so calming and really takes the nerves away about trying to conceive.
He started me on Femara, and we were on our third round when we decided to have a big weekend away in the Hunter Valley. We decided just to let loose and not focusing on falling pregnant but instead enjoy each others company. Maybe this was the key for us.
I remember not sleeping a wink for two nights as I waited for my blood test results to come back so I could surprise my husband, Marco. Our lives were about to change in such a huge way.
Within 3 days of finding out and surprising Marco, I was in emergency with my first bleed. The anxiety of that experience was something like no other, but unfortunately for us, this wouldn't be the last time. For the first 15 weeks, I was in and out of emergency and the EPAS clinic. No explanation as to why just a few guesses here and there, however, bub was growing well thankfully!
Between 15 and 20 weeks, I was diagnosed with hypertension, high risk of preeclampsia and gestational diabetes. I became part of the hospital furniture and was at appointments almost weekly. I was medicated, on insulin and boy do I HATE needles.
Towards the business end of the pregnancy, we began discussing being induced at 39 weeks. With my health concerns during pregnancy, there were certain risks involved. So, this would be the way it would happen unless she made an appearance before this. Which she didn't! I swear the last month goes forever, right!
On Wednesday the 30th of January, I was admitted into the antenatal ward. I was hooked up to the doppler and monitored, which was nice to spend an hour or so just hubby and I listening to bub's heartbeat! At about 10am I had the pessary put in and later that afternoon my waters broke. I remember I was so uncomfortable and had a sudden urge to sit up out of bed. As I sat up, I felt the gush of water and stared blankly at hubby: "I swear I've peed myself, Marco!" The midwife kept reassuring me that no, my waters had indeed broken.
Within a few hours, the early contractions had started. I was completely lured into a false sense of "oh I got this". The contractions were easy to get through, some Panadol and heat packs and I felt fine! Then they got worse, so into the shower for some hot water therapy as per the midwife instructions. However, I wouldn't be having the baby that night. So with a dose of painkillers and sleeping tablets and I rode the contractions overnight.
Thursday the 31st of January, at 6.30 am, I was woken by a nurse wanting to put in the cannula which I promptly refused. I'd rather give birth than get needles! But of course, had to have it.
I was taken down to the labour ward at 7.30 am and met the amazing Yana our beautiful midwife. I was given oxytocin, and the contractions came thick and fast. Nothing absolutely nothing compared to the night before. With a few hours of tears and gas, I tapped out and asked for the epidural.
The anaesthetist came in pretty quick. He started to tell me about all the statistics, and what he would be doing. I joked that he would be doing this twice as it would be just my luck. And sure enough, he was back as the left side of my body didn't take. Having contractions only on the left side and directly in my back was so painful. When he came back for the second time, we had a laugh that if this didn't work, we would be having some words. This took my mind off the pain briefly.
As all this was happening, the baby's heart rate started dropping at each contraction, but regained well when it passed. We had to attach an internal fetal monitor to her little head (the obstetrician informed me she had dark hair!) and fetal scalp blood sampling was carried out to see if she needed to come out immediately. On each test she scored worse, and each contraction broke me as I heard that little heart rate drop. On top of this, the left side started to regain feeling again, and the pain was so intense right in my back.
By 6.30 pm, I had a full room and a team prepping me for an assisted birth and possible caesarean. I had signed off on paperwork to allow this all to happen; however, forceps for me was not an option as per my request. I've never understood something so barbaric, but hey that's my opinion.
It felt like a bit of a blur as I cried all the way to the theatre. I've never had surgery before let alone been kept in hospital, and all I wanted was for my little girl to come into the world safely and healthy. As they prepped me in theatre, Marco wasn't allowed in at first. As we looked at each other through the small window in the door, I started crying again. The emotions that run through you are so intense.
By 6.45 pm, I started pushing - with Marco at my side and my amazing midwife cheering me on. With every pause, I asked if her heart rate was okay and Yana reassured me she was a strong little one.
At 7.02pm at 2.66kgs and 49cm little miss Indie May-Rose entered the world. It all happened so fast, they told me she was here and there she was on my chest. Not making sound, I kept asking if she was okay. She was I was told. I'll be honest, that moment I didn't enjoy. I was later told she was born a little stunned and needed some CPAP. But I've never been more worried when I didn't hear her cry.
While Marco looked over our little girl, I was being stitched up. Indie was delivered with a vac, and I had an episiotomy. I was wheeled into recovery and waited for Marco and Indie. As she was put on my chest, she cried a little, and so did I. She was perfect, she was everything and more!
Recovery for me was a little hard. I couldn't stand up straight for a while and ended up with a huge bruise on my lower back from the needle. I was monitored around the clock with my blood pressure as it was hovering on the borderline of good.
By Sunday morning, I was signed off and discharged. We got Indie into the car with no drama and home by lunch. Sunday night, I was back in hospital as my blood pressure spiked. I've never had any symptoms at any point in my pregnancy, so I was glad I checked as the top number was up at 160.
Another 4 days in the hospital, Indie had fed to the point of making me bleed. My milk had come in strong, my boobs were like rocks, and we were almost allowed to go home. Because we had been discharged and readmitted in the same day, we didn't get the normal checkups for Indie. So we had a few different people flow through the room to do her checks as we had been so focused on me.
She was and still is perfect; hard bloody work, but so perfect!